Time !!!

I am afraid of Time. Not because it stole my loved ones, and is stealing those to whom my life is grateful. Time is not up for me; it stands in my way in my every endeavor, every time. People believe aging fighting it is experience. It is too much of a measure for me. And I am tired of this adventure.

I am afraid because it is the sum of all forces acting against me. I am afraid because it makes me believe in extra-terrestrial ideologies. Yet I will stay, I will win. I have got my faculty - volatile memory.

I begin (again???).

When Lips Don't Touch....!!!

I am infuriated. I feel the strength of a mammoth in temper. I am wild and rampant.

My eyes squeeze blood. I see everything red.
My biceps expose pulpy veins.
My teeth can grind and crush solid iron balls.
I am so enraged that I can drink molten metal.
I am in an uncontrollable state. Can kill anybody......even myself !

She refused a kiss........mine and hers.

Living For A Life !!!

Days become nights. Nights become days.
And the time seems like a twinkle.
No time to live a life.

I do not want coir beds. It is enough if I could see the stars, real and twinkling, when I lay back. A hay bundle enough for my back. I do not want to reach the stars; enough if I am able to admire the moon's beauty from here. Enough if I could honestly smile for the sea breeze, play with the beach sand.

I do not want to earn for what I do not want to buy, what I am trying to stay away from. Enough money for a day's food for two. I do not want a wife who nags up until the time of my funeral. I neither want one who is always under the pursuit to keep my sexual sense under her control. I do not want one who feels my aspirations is like an undesirable topic during sex.

Enough if I could squeeze a drop of tear to (en)lighten myself for a kid's smile. Enough I could atleast nod for a good note if not sing or play. I do not want to write poems, speak literature, groom language and such; enough if able to appreciate them.

I do not want a lot of company; enough if I have a few friends. Enough if they honestly share. Enough if I have a walk paved with our memories.

Not want a world, not want to be in a world that says my wants are too much. But just want to live a life......mine and mine alone, but not alone.

The Lonely Protagonist !!!

Nobody say to cheers. Nobody to ask what, why ? Nobody to ask why he is holding his tears ? Nobody to ask why his tears are precious ? Nobody to listen to what betrayal is. Nobody to respect his dirt ? Nobody. Always a company of three.............Himself, His glass and the Almighty DRINK. The drops that did not get tasted are more cursed than Him.

A Reason To Live !!!

She was wearing a red dress. The red was so true that the late evening light could not steal away the colour. Her fair colour was backing the red. She shone like white gold subsiding the moon light. The breeze flew in to and fro direction trying every chance to touch her on the face, on every exposed part of her body. The waves were trying to reach out and touch her feet....atleast. She too was sitting with pride exposing her feet as if challenging the waves. The sweet smile on her face and the kisses were for the kids around. The sand.............it was with me, all over, not noticed at all, suppressed in the dark, and yet bearing her. I wish I was the wave. I wish I was the breeze. I wish I was one of the kids.

If a nail could be beautiful, it is hers. I watched every strand of her hair. I was watching and envying every damn thing that she was with. I was just there beside her - admiring and unnoticed. She is my goddess. I live to be hers.

Morale - Yesteryear Gifts !!!

Seems good times were long ago. Even a struggle is something prior to a good time. These years - they are fully empty, and life just is going on. Some of the lessons that the past good years left for me:-

This year I have met with all joy and sorrow, success and failure, friendship and hostility. All the way this year, even met with the vulgar things in my life. Yet I have always thought and practiced to be right and do right. I can survive and succeed with such thoughts. I shall come out of the hell of the things stopping me. I shall win. I swear I won't stop until I reach my destiny. My mistakes, my sentiments or my emotions do not contribute anything to my destiny. Only my urge, my efforts!

Success in my life has begun.

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Pains and pleasures are the important and equal part of life. They are meaningless without one another. If there is no pain, we cannot EXPERIENCE pleasure. Pains are not pains; they are troubles neither.They are tests to make our head work. Pains mold us and make us acquainted with all parts of life. I have learned to accept pain. Because I DO NOT WANT TO TASTE THE FRUIT WITHOUT CLIMBING THE TREE.

But pains alone slow down the pace in our lives. So let God, henceforth, give me the power to win all the obstacles in life. Let the year and years ahead shower me with the grace of God, give me a healthy body, stable clear mind with pleasant and pure thoughts, and all powers to win future endeavors.

Praying for a peaceful world altogether.

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A span of 365 days (and also every day spent) teaches a person something very useful to his life. I had lived a proud life; taking too much pride of my health, forgetting the ways to keep it safe. This span in my life has taught and warned me to be safe with health. I always was proud of my qualification and profession, neglecting the thoughts of a jobless life. This span has taught me how to be patient and inert in the worst times, and how to bear the disturbances from the society and surrounding. What I was taught, what I have learned is my armour for the life ahead. Bless me!

The Drought !!!

Am I going to die on the streets ?
Will not I not be dying on the arms of my girl with the last few drops of precious tears in our eyes ?
Am I not going to meet her in this birth ? Won't I not talk to her of me, and listen to her with care and awe ?
Are those forests and beaches going to be uninhabited forever ? Aren't we going to be Adam and Eve ?
Am I not going to feel the resonance with her ?
I seem to be immortal suffering this pain.

Who is listening ? I am trying to communicate. I am thinking for long.
Even words betray me. I fail to quote.
Words that I fail to utter die; words that fail to express my longing are once again cremated. I am forgetting expressions. I am forgetting to write. I am losing my ink.

She remains, and reminds !!!